“Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil.” – Ephesians 5:15-16

One of the weakest areas in my life is my ability to manage my time and focus on tasks. I’m by nature a guy who is easily distracted, so when you throw in things like Facebook, Twitter, and really, the entirety of the internet, it’s a miracle I get anything accomplished. What’s odd is that I meticulously schedule every hour of my day so that I can get things done, but by the end of the week my planner looks like a glorified procrastination tool complete with lines and scribbles as I moved items from one day to the next.

I’m completely confident that if I forcefully pulled myself away from all of the meaningless nonsense, that I could get so much more done. Especially as it would relate to Kingdom work. But here’s the hook…

why do I even wrestle with this?

Why isn’t my hearts desire always to do the things of God? Why would I rather waste time away on social networks than cherish time spent in the word? How is it so easy to come up with catchy 140 character sayings, while struggling to get down on my knees and have a conversation with my Father? Why?

I don’t want it to be like that. I want to be a man of God who is pursuing Him constantly. Not just when I need some good spiritual tidbit to pass on to the people of Crossroads so I’ll sound super holy.

So I’m rearranging some things. And I’m not talking about priorities. I’m talking about the condition of my heart. I’m making a promise to God to purposely step away from all the distractions and instead seek Him. I’m limiting myself on daily social network checks and using all of the extra time to labor for God. At least that’s the plan. And I’m confident that God can provide whatever I need to accomplish it.

This is going to be my first step in allowing God to change my heart and I’m starting now. This will also be the first step for those at Crossroads who are going on a journey of Awakening.

Help me out here. What do you do that helps you manage your time to give more to God?

For several weeks I have wrestled with a truth that God has placed in the very pit of my soul.

It would be so easy to find an excuse for me not being the person Christ wants me to be.
I could rally off the names of men and women who I would swear are stumbling blocks in my walk and in my leadership.
I could argue that I’m trying to be in tune with culture so I can remain relevant to a generation.
I could point to a list of laws and bills that completely subvert the word of God.
I could actually fool myself and others into thinking that I have this thing figured out.

Or…

I could humble myself before an Almighty God and ask Him to change me. To awake my soul. And when I ask, He will do it. And it won’t be easy. It would prove to be the hardest journey of my life. God would challenge me in ways that I never knew. He would force me to come face to face with me. And I know what that means.

But that scares me. I’ve prayed for God to move powerfully in my life before, and when He did, I thought my very life was falling apart.

Ironically enough, it was at those times that I felt most secure in my God.

I say all that to say this. I wonder what would happen if we started a movement. A movement of the children of God to come together and bow before Him and beg Him to change us.

What would happen if even just a few of us prayed for God to challenge? For God to create. For God to violently remove sin from us. For God to show us what it really means to be made in His image.

What would happen if we prayed for an awakening?

I don’t think we were meant to pursue Him alone. So I’m asking, are there any out there who are willing to take this journey with me?

With all the pain.
With all the peace.
With all the tears.
With all the joys.

If you’re in leave a comment below and I’ll let you know in the coming days how we’re going to make it happen.

I look back over my life and see a lot of things I should not have done.
I look back over my marriage and see many areas where I failed so miserably.
I look back over my parenting and I regret the times I could have been a better dad.
I look back over my pastorate and see a lot of things I should not have allowed to happen.

And I tremble.

I tremble under the mercy of a God who does not give me what I deserve.
I tremble under the grace of a God who grants me what I do not.
I tremble when I think of His love that overcomes all of my faults. His strength that overcomes my weaknesses. His wisdom that overcomes my ignorance.

I tremble even more, when He reminds me that it is us He has chosen to carry His love to a world. To proclaim His truths to a nation. To lead His church to their knees.

I tremble greater still at all the work that is left to be done.